The horrific seven costs of incestophobia

As with many wrongful attitudes that are widely held and backed up by oppressive legislation, incestophobia has some very serious costs to us as a community, and to society at large. Some of these costs are possible to calculate, others not so, but they are costs borne all the same. This article exists to highlight these costs, and it should make any reasonable person seriously question their attitudes towards our people.

The first cost is financial. The state spends money conducting investigations, putting people on trial, and even sending them to prison…. all because of who they fell in love with. Think about the staggering amount of money spent convicting just ONE person of incest. That money pays for the police wages, forensic scientists, lawyers, judges, and not to mention the cost of locking a person up for multiple years. When you really stop and think about it, it is INSANE to spend so much persecuting somebody who has done nothing actually wrong, they’ve just defied social convention.

In a sane and free society, it should be safe to be different, even (perhaps even especially) when that difference is something that others find particularly difficult to understand. The money spent persecuting incestuous people would be far better spent tracking down real criminals, people who leave behind victims… if they want to focus on sex crimes, start with pedophilia, there are plenty of child molesters about and the money should go to protecting the next generation from these godawful predators.

The second cost is a lifetime of poverty. With an incest conviction, how are we to find employment with being labelled as criminals and sex offenders? The majority of employers would NOT be willing to take on somebody with ANY conviction, much less a ‘sex offender’, because they will not differentiate between consensual adult incest and somebody that rapes children, too many people believe that incest means child abuse… when it really does not.

As a result of these negative labels, people lose their homes with no real prospect of replacing them. Some people end up homeless and living on the streets. Others who are more fortunate get into social housing and must then live off state benefits when they could and should be able to support themselves were these labels not in place… another financial cost to the state.

The third cost is loss of friends and family. Many people with such convictions find their friends and family will want nothing to do with them, shunning them and casting them out of their social circles. After all, who wants to be seen speaking to a sex offender? The withdrawal of such a vital support network in life can tip some people over the edge, leading to serious mental health problems, alcohol abuse, and in extreme cases even suicide. Remember, all of this is simply because they fell in love and had a relationship with a family member. How can such a penalty be justified? It can’t be. So if you’re reading this and have consanguinamorous relatives, please pick up the phone and speak to them, and let them know that they are loved and valued.

The fourth cost is risk of assault, harassment and intimidation. After being labelled as a sex offender, consanguinamorous couples sometimes face harassment and intimidation from their communities. They are not only ostracised, but are actively hounded, sometimes by nuisance calls, menacing or threatening hate mail…etc. Some are even assaulted by members of the public, and sometimes those assaults are serious, especially when a lynch mob is involved.

How the hell can ANYONE justify this? This is immoral, and it has to stop.

The fifth cost is borne by children. Children are routinely removed from the care of consanguinamorous parents, in a misguided attempt to protect them. Some assume the worst and believe that incestuous people are going to abuse their kids, but this is far from true. Pedophiles abuse children, sometimes their own children, but if somebody is not a pedophile then they will do no such thing.

There is also the assumption by some that children raised by incestuous parents will turn out that way themselves. Really? Like how being raised by gay and lesbian couples causes kids to be gay? Honestly, think about it. Just as most children raised by homosexuals turn out to be heterosexual, most children raised by consanguinamorous couples will turn out to be regulars and will have zero interest in incestuous relationships because they will develop the Westermarck Effect like most other people do.

Now imagine for a moment that you are a young child, you’ve just been removed from your loving parents and told that you need protection from them. You’re told that your parents are perverts and criminals, and you’re suddenly sent to live with total strangers. What kind of damage is that going to do to a child who comes from a loving home and was well cared for? Furthermore, if that child was the product of incest, what is is going to do to him or her to be told that he or she should never have been born? This is forcing the child to take on a great and wholly unnecessary stigma that he or she will carry for the rest of their lives. Is that right and fair? Obviously not, but this is what happens in the world today, and it should stop immediately.

The sixth cost is to people in abusive consanguine relationships. It’s not nice to talk about, but domestic violence can and does happen in all types of relationships, and it can occasionally occur in incestuous ones too. In regular relationships, if somebody is being beaten by their spouse, they can seek help and protection from the police and later bring the abuser to justice. With incest however, it is very different… the victim CANNOT go to the police without revealing the illegal relationship, and so the victim suffers in silence. So in this instance, the cost of incestophobia is actually helping abuse to remain hidden.

Even when abuse is not physical, how can somebody have a chat to friends or other family members about it when even being in the relationship at all is illegal and considered immoral? They CAN’T.

The seventh cost is to the conscience of society. Society loves to think of itself as ‘tolerant’ and ‘accepting’,  while all the time hunting us down, treating us as the worst kind of criminals, jailing us, and ostracising us. Yet we have done absolutely NOTHING to deserve such treatment and we would very much like to be integrated into society as another minority group. When society realizes how badly they have misjudged our people, and how unfairly they have treated us, it is they who will bow their heads in the shame of what they have done. Just as we are ashamed of how previous generations treated homosexuals, the children of the future will look back at our society with similar disgust at how we have been treated.


Considering all of the points I have made above, how could anyone say that these horrific costs are justified. Incestophobia leaves destroyed lives in it’s wake, it harms not only consanguinamorous people, but society as well. It harms the children of such couples and tears apart families. It breaks apart healthy and functional loving couples while ensuring that abuse remains hidden. Nothing good ever came from prejudice against a harmless group of people, what good did it do to oppress homosexuality? None. What good comes from oppressing us? None. These harms are committed by a society that does not just reject consanguinamorous sex, but fundamentally rejects WHO WE ARE… because it does not yet understand it. This is the reason why websites such as this one are of vital importance, to get the information out and to stop this from continuing to happen to people. The sooner these outrageous laws are repealed, the better. We need better, we DESERVE better. We ask to be treated as equal human beings, for our love to be respected and acknowledged. We ask for the dignity that is our very birthright. Nothing less will do.


Guest Articles and Media

I have decided to provide my readers with a space on my website for their articles. I am thinking that there are probably plenty of people with something to say, but don’t have the time to make their own website, or don’t want the risk or the hassle of that. It’s only fair that such people have the chance to have their say, anonymously if they would prefer, or with their chosen username. I will also accept youtube video submissions. This is for informative works, not for your personal stories. If you want me to host your story, I have a page for thattoo. Don’t send any articles or videos that are sexually explicit please, this is a clean website.

Please send all submissions to:

The consanguinamory study RELAUNCH

To everyone who has participated in the consanguinamory study, I will say thank you. Unfortunately there was only eleven responses in over two months, and I was hoping for a lot more. I believe that what might have been putting off a lot of participants was the fact that they had to e-mail the results to me, as well as write their responses by hand (well, keyboard). So, I’ve decided to make it much easier and quicker for people to participate in the study. You don’t have to contact me, sign up for anything, ore even provide your e-mail. It’s anonymous, it’s fast and it’s convenient for everyone (especially me because I no longer have to be counting all the results… the system will do it for me).

Below you’ll see a link, it contains the original questions and a few more. My apologies to those who have already submitted answers to me, but they will need to be done again this way… it won’t take you anywhere near as long this time I assure you.

What NOT to say to consanguinamorous people

This is a list of the most common, but ill thought out things that people say to consanguinamorous people, both on the Internet and off it. These things are based on inaccurate assumptions and misunderstandings, some are even well intentioned but misguided attempts at ‘help’, one or two are even amusing for all the wrong reasons. This list is mostly for the benefit of ill-informed regulars, but I’m sure that my consang readers will find a chuckle or two in here.

Got any [pornographic] pics/vids [of you and your relative together] you could send me?

This one is a wholly online problem, usually these requests are made by fetishists who get off on ‘incest porn’ on the Internet. Now, lets take a big step back and take a look at this sensibly. Who would be holding the camera/camcorder? Why, knowing that such stuff could be used as evidence in court if it was discovered, would somebody make home made incest porn? Even if somebody was to make it (as unlikely as that is), WHY would we want to send it to some random stranger on the Internet for them to masturbate over? We wouldn’t… the very question itself is stupid.

As for the ‘incest porn’ online, those people are ACTORS. They aren’t really related at all, and some of the porn stars make disclaimers before the sex scenes to explain that. Nobody in a normal, loving consanguinamorous relationship is going to appear in these videos.Our love goes far deeper than sex anyway.

Do you find it difficult to get dates? You should sign up for a dating website, there is plenty of fish in the sea and there is bound to be somebody for you.

This could be said either online or offline, but the underlying assumption is that we have resorted to incest because we can’t find anyone else. This is completely untrue for the overwhelming majority, in fact I’ve yet to find a single person this applies to over my years online. People who are in a consanguinamorous relationship and are happy just have no interest in dating regulars. Why would we if we’re in happy relationships?

Furthermore, even when we’re single, we may or may not be open to pursuing relationships with regulars. Some of us can and do go both ways and are able to have happy and fulfilling relationships with regulars. Some of us have tried it and found it wasn’t for them because it felt empty (I’m in this category). Others find the very idea a bit icky without the intense double love being there. We’re a diverse group and there is no reason for it to be assumed that we’re all open to regular relationships, some of us aren’t.

Doesn’t that feel really AWKWARD?

Most people would find the idea of having a relationship with a family member extremely awkward and gross. That’s because most people have a functioning Westermarck Effect, whereby growing up in proximity to family members causes reverse sexual imprinting to take place, thereby rendering them unattractive to you. So of course for a regular, it WOULD be awkward.

However, sometimes the Westermarck Effect is absent for people. In the case of Genetic Sexual Attraction, a person does not grow up around his or her genetic relatives, therefore the Westermarck Effect has no opportunity to develop. So when he or she meets those relatives as an adult, they may or may not be attracted to each other. People who experience GSA are often Westermarck Effected for their adopted relatives.

Non-GSA consanguinamorous folk just don’t develop a strong Westermarck effect like the majority of the population. We have no idea why this happens, just that it does, and that this group of people are just as likely to be attracted to a family member as they are to somebody else, sometimes even more so.

So all in all, while incest might feel awkward for you, doesn’t mean it is for us, far from it.

I’m cool with your relationship, whatever floats your boat…. but, you are on the pill, aren’t you?

This is a piece of well intentioned advice that a regular might say. This is basically a more tolerant variation of the mutant babies argument that separates sex from reproduction, accepting that consanguinamorous people are entitled to their relationships, but denying that they should procreate based on the fact that there is a higher chance of genetic problems. Many assume that the risk is much higher than it actually is. The actual risk is about 9% for immediate family, barely higher than for women over 40, and actually LOWER than for many people with existing genetic problems. Now, you wouldn’t go asking those people if they’re taking contraceptives, would you?

Consanguinamorous people are well aware of the risks, many of us choose not to have children with relatives for this very reason. But this should be a personal choice down to the individuals involved, not for society to dictate. I realize that this is a well intentioned comment, but it is also rather overbearing.

I think you should see a doctor, there MUST be something wrong with you if you find a family member attractive. It’s not healthy

Why must there be something wrong? If the couple are happy together, then what’s the problem? These relationships can be as beautiful, as healthy and as stable as any other.

This kind of comment is normally made by people who are grossed out at the idea and think that there is some underlying mental condition…. but the reality is that there is no condition to find. We’re fine as we are thanks, we don’t need fixing and we don’t need help. We’re not broken, we’re just different, that’s all. As mentioned earlier, not everyone experiences Westermarck Effect.

Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that you’re not being abused or taken advantage of?

Some well meaning regulars may come out with this one because they have spent their lives being programmed into believing that all incest is abusive. The culprit of this programming is the News… whenever incest is mentioned it is usually in the context of rape or childhood sexual abuse, and even when CONSENSUAL incest is in the news, abuse cases are brought up alongside it and thus falsely associating the two. This leaves many regulars with the distinct impression that all incest is abuse, when that is far from true.

Consider this: What advantages are there currently for consanguinamorous couples coming out? They face hostility and hate, public humiliation, not to mention a jail sentence in many countries. THAT is why you usually don’t hear about it.

I would wager that MOST INCEST IS BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS, and that it’s much more common than people realize. We’re there, we’re just hidden from view. Fortunately, the Internet is giving us a platform to speak out and be heard.

I’m into incest too… any chance I could get a date with any incest singles/couples?

Honestly, if I had a quid for every time I’d heard that question, I’d be a rich woman by now. This is normally the kind of thing a fetishist asks. Consanguinamory is not a fetish, it’s not what we’re INTO, it’s what we ARE… in the same way a gay person is gay and a straight person is straight. If we are consanguinamorous, we may or may not be open to dating regulars (as pointed out above), even if those regulars are ‘into incest’ as they say. Incest relationships in real life is NOT the same as role play and fantasies.

Yet another drop in the overflowing bucket of bullshit

Okay folks, today we’ve got another article full of ignorant bullshit, complete with a hefty dose of scaremongering from a policeman who fails to back up his claims with hard statistics. This one will be easy work

A police officer attached to the Criminal Investigation Department (CID) has expressed concern about what appears to be increased incidents of incest in Antigua & Barbuda.

“It is not as prevalent as rape and as unlawful sexual intercourse, but of late we are seeing an increase in incest,” said Corporal Kleus Lavia.

Is there really? You sure it’s not just greater awareness of incest? Or that more couples are being less careful about not getting caught? Even if the incidence of incest was increasing, as long as it is between consenting adults… where exactly is the problem?

Furthermore, people need to stop lumping incest in with actual sex crimes, like rape. Rape produces victims, incest does not.

The police officer, who was speaking on OBSERVER Radio’s Patrol Duty, did not provide any statistics to back up his claim.

So, either he was too lazy to look up the figures, or there isn’t any to back up his claim. Either way, you either shouldn’t be making claims that you can’t back up, or you should familiarize yourself with the facts before making such statements on a Radio station.

He said that incest, according to the law, is defined as sexual activity between family members or close relatives.

Exactly, the definition says NOTHING about it meaning abuse or rape. Incest between CONSENTING ADULTS should’t be illegal in the first place.

Corporal Lavia said in most of the cases reported to CID the perpetrators are male, and further issued a word of caution to men in general.

“Leave our young girls alone; date ladies your own age. Our teenagers are our future. If young girls are looking up to you, it simply means they trust you. Do not (take) advantage of them because the penalty is dire,” Lavia said.

Where in the above definition of incest does it mention grown men taking advantage of their teenage girls? It doesn’t. Pedophilia and incest ARE NOT the same thing. Also, does he HAVE TO date somebody his own age? He could date a woman who is older than he if he wants to, or a woman who is younger than he is (of legal age obviously)… what’s your beef with age gap relationship? They can and do work well for some people.  As a final point,parent/offspring incest relationships can work really well once the woman is a GROWN WOMAN… I know from my own experience as a consanguinamorous woman.

According to the Sexual Offences Act of 1995, a person who commits incest is liable on conviction to imprisonment for life, if committed by an adult with a person less than 14 years of age; 15 years in prison if committed by an adult with a person 14 years of age or more; a two-year prison sentence if committed between two minors.

According to the laws that govern the country, a minor is an individual under the age of 18 years.

I wholeheartedly agree that there needs to be penalties for grown men and women taking advantage of vulnerable teens… you’ll get no argument from me there. Such penalties should be there whether the perpetrator and victim are related or not. However, the law locking up MINORS for two years is ridiculous. So, say a brother and sister who are 17 experiment together sexually, neither of them is harmed by the experience and they are both cool about it. Suddenly they get caught, everyone flies into a frenzy and they both get two years in juvenile detention. It isn’t the teenage experimentation that’s the problem here, it is stupid laws like this that are the problem.

Another sexual offence that the police officer said was rampant, was indecent assault.

“Indecent assault is very prevalent; it basically involves unwanted touching. We might consider touching someone as not being anything, but if I touch someone and it is unwanted and I make some remarks of a sexist nature, it can amount to indecent assault,” Corporal Lavia said.

He said a person who indecently assaults another is guilty of an offence and is liable on conviction to imprisonment for five years.

So remember guys, if you touch a woman ANYWHERE (even her arm) on her body and call her sexy, if she doesn’t feel the same you could go to jail for FIVE YEARS for indecent assault. You see, according to these morons, that is exactly the same as groping her or grabbing her breasts out of the blue. See how idiotic this is?

Good God, we’ve come to the end but seriously, it highlights how fucked up these laws actually are.

The impact of incest on contemporary fiction

As of late there has been significant discussion about incestuous relationships and themes in fictional works. The most recent example being the Lannisters in Game of Thrones. Naturally, the Internet is of differing opinions on the subject. Some people have their pitchforks out about how ‘gross’ and ‘wrong’ it apparently is, while others say ‘geez it’s only a STORY, it’s not like it’s REAL LIFE’.

Now, I admit I know absolutely nothing about Game of Thrones, but I do know about incest, and about the impact that fictional stories can have on our community. Any raising of the subject in fiction is going to spark off debate about the subject itself, which can be a very positive thing in the long run.

How it is portrayed in such works of fiction is going to impact how the public are going to react to it. If the couple are portrayed as otherwise normal regular people who have to hide their big secret or else get arrested or incarcerated , then it is likely to get some of the public wondering if such laws are actually necessary in real life. On the other hand if they’re portrayed as obsessive or emotionally abusive then it is going to appeal to the part of society that says that incest is always abusive… thus being another affirmation of their incorrect beliefs, ditto if the story portrays one of the involved parties as underage, or at least barely legal and potentially vulnerable.

Incest in fiction has been about for a very long time in a wide range of different kinds of TV shows. It occasionally shows up in soaps, likely to boost ratings, and it shows up in individual episodes of some series, and it’s even showed up in some sci-fi films (the most famous example being Luke/Leia in Star Wars).

Furthermore, incest is also present in fanfiction, which is when fans write stories using the characters from their favourite shows. Some fandoms contain more of it than others, and the works produced range from excellent to appalling. The Harry Potter fandom, for example, hasWeasleycest and Malfoycest fanfictions in abundance… just google it and you’ll see how popular this is. This shows that many people have more than a passing interest in the subject, and perhaps are writing these stories to explore the idea in a risk free way.

All in all, I think that the subject being raised both in fiction on TV, and in fanfiction has the potential to be a very good thing, if it is portrayed accurately and sensibly and is free of stupid cliches and assumptions that aren’t true. Actually I’d love to see it tackled accurately more often, that will help to change public opinions in our favor gradually. Even when it’s tackled inaccurately, it may still be enough to get more people thinking.

When addictions affect consanguinamorous relationships

I’m writing this article because over the last couple of months I’ve encountered more than one person who has had problems in their consanguinamorous relationship because of their other half having an addiction. Much as it would be nice to think we would never have such a problem, addictions of one sort or another affect many people, and unfortunately consanguinamorous people are just as prone to suffer with these issues as any other group of people. Yet unlike for most people, it is much harder for consanguine couples to get the help they need to overcome these issues because of the current anti-incest laws. This is yet another harm that is done by such legislation, but hopefully this article will go some small way towards self-help.

There are two main kinds of addictions:

SUBSTANCE ADDICTION: This could be illegal drugs, or alcohol, and there is a physical component of the addiction. Some drugs make the body dependant on the next fix and cause the addict to forever search for their next fix in order to experience that high again. There is also a psychological component to it as the person believes that they need the drug as opposed to simply wanting it and craving for it. People under the influence of the drug (or extreme cravings as a result of withdrawal) may do or say things that they never would otherwise, and their behavior can become extremely difficult for loved ones to cope with. This is doubly so if their behavior strays into illegal territories such as stealing to fund their habit.

BEHAVIOR ADDICTION: These are addictions like gambling, pornography, and hoarding. There is no physical addiction to these things, but the addict is still looking for a ‘high’ of a kind. A gambler will want just ‘one more win’ on the slot machines, the porn addict will search for ever more extreme scenes in order to get their ‘fix’, and the hoarder will buy more and more useless trinkets. These behaviors can potentially be just as damaging as substance addiction in terms of the impact on the addicts family. Imagine having no money for bills because it all went in the fruit machine, or a partner being sexually unavailable because they spent all night watching porn, or the house being gradually filled with the latest buys of stuff you already have far too much of.

In BOTH instances, the addiction has likely occurred because the addict feels that there is something missing in his or her life, a deep seated sense of emptiness that needs to somehow be filled and met. Yet without even recognising this on a conscious level, these people the go out and try to somehow ease their suffering. Alcohol may numb it for a while, but the empty feeling comes back as soon as they sober up. Somebody may get a buzz from buying that new dress or pair of trainers, but it wears off as soon as they get home and dump their latest acquisitions on top of the existing ones. In short, people suffering with addictions need help, not just to correct the behavior, but to resolve the inner problem that lead to it in the first place. Not doing this is the reason why an addict may give up one vice only to replace it with another. For instance, giving up alcohol might be a good thing, but it’s not really an improvement if that habit is replaced by gambling.

Now, I’m no mental health expert, and nothing I can say in an online article is going to be any real substitute for professional help for such issues. But I have dug up some useful resources online for people battling these sorts of problems. I’ll list them all at the end of this article, and I would advise those suffering from these problems to seek help for them.

Now, with regards to how to support your family lover through these problems, there are one or two things to consider:

  1. EXERCISE CAUTION WHEN SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP so that your relationship is not discovered. It is ideal if the addict goes to seek help alone, but if he or she wants you to go along to appointments, make sure that you’re clear which role you’re going as… for the benefit of the therapist, are you his relative or his partner? Clearly you cannot be both without giving yourselves away. If you share a surname and look alike it may be safer to go as family members, if you don’t look alike and have different surnames you could go as partners.
  2. YOU WILL HAVE A HUGE RANGE OF EMOTIONS FACING THESE PROBLEMS. You will want to support the person both as a partner and as family, although the emotions from each role may be a little different. You may suffer infuriation and feelings of being neglected as a partner, and as family you naturally want to help as much as possible. All of this is natural and you need to ensure that you take some time out for yourself to process these feelings.
  3. YOU MAY SUFFER SETBACKS. It is not uncommon for addicts to relapse at some point, but be patient and stick to whatever program the therapist has given you to work with, it DOESN’T mean you’ve been a failure as a supportive family partner, it means that he or she is still in the process of getting better but isn’t quite there yet.
  4. IF THE CURRENT THERAPISTS SUGGESTIONS ARE NOT WORKING, then there are choices to be made. You could try a different therapist, or you could ask the same therapist if he or she knows of any alternative strategies are available.
  5. AVOID BLAMING THE ADDICT for the addiction. He or she probably already feels plenty guilty already, and does not need you heaping on extra guilt… such a thing could be counter-productive and lead to more of the behavior you DON’T want to see.

So here are the links I’ve dug up, the list is by no means exhaustive, there are a lot of these websites out there:

Illegal drugs:






Why the consanguinamory movement should shun policial correctness

At times we look around at all of the hateful comments made against us, and it feels as though the world is stacked against us. It’s very easy for us to want all that hate to just go away, or at least be out of sight. Let’s face it, it’s not nice having to deal with prejudice and bigotry, and sadly incestophobia is everywhere.

However, during our future campaigns around the world for our rights, I would urge this movement NOT to succumb to the temptation of silencing our critics by making it taboo to criticize us. So far there hasn’t been a single criticism against consensual adult incest that has not been discredited or proven logically to be an invalid argument… even the mutant babies argument holds no real water. So each and every time our people are exposed to incestophobic bigoted nonsense, rather than launch personal attacks or tell the offending poster to ‘shut the fuck up’ (as tempting as it is to do just that), we should use these instances as examples of illogical stupidity, to demonstrate the frailty and lack of substance in these arguments.

In truth we have everything to gain by maintaining the rights to free speech for all sides of the debate. Yes, it means that even bigoted morons can have their say, but our logic and sense of fairness can and will win out. We cannot demand our rights whilst demanding that the rights of others be curtailed, that would be both hypocritical and conceited. We’re stronger than that and we’re better than that. The arguments for our liberation are in fact so strong that we have absolutely nothing to fear from our critics.

As the public become more and more educated about GSA and incest, the rate of incestophobic stupidity will see a steady decline, as you would expect. As a result of this, those who still insist on coming out with such nonsense will be taken less and less seriously. So what is now felt as a deep wound to us will in future become a thing to be laughed at. So rather than nodding in agreement with the bigot, the more educated people of tomorrow will listen to him or her and just go ‘Jeez, what a bigoted arsehole, what his/her problem?’ People will pay less and less attention as their voices against us become more and more shrill.

Eventually, most of them will fall silent anyway, realizing that they have little prospect of a sympathetic audience from the general public. Some pockets of it may remain, as pockets of homophobia still remain. So while we may never stamp out incestophobia in it’s entirety, we can greatly reduce it to negligible levels by education alone. It’s going to take time of course, but this is by far the best way of doing it.

We’re asking for our rights, but we do not have the right to curtail the right of free speech to others, no matter how invalid or ridiculous their opinions. We do however retain the right to respond to such bigoted comments, sarcastically if we wish to, provided that it is not done in a personal way, attack the argument (even sarcastically if you like), not the person. In this way we will rise above the petty stupidity and get to the meat and potatoes of the debate… which is where we will win ground, each and every time. We do not need to be defended or protected from criticism, because there is no valid arguments that can be used against consanguinamory.

An excited and supportive letter

Well guys, I got this one in my inbox this morning:

Finally after all this time, I found your site! Thank you so very very much for hosting it, and for being a voice like you are (especially when no one wants to say anything). It takes an admirable courage, and well… it’s more than relieving to see that not only are there like-minded people, but that there are the beginnings of an activist movement.
      I always knew there was a website like yours out there, somewhere, and that if I looked long enough then… things would just line up and it would be found. And now… I really don’t know what to say except thank you! over and over again, thank you! It isn’t so much vindication, but maybe more like “finding one’s people”; hopefully that makes a certain sense. It feels like it will.
      To be forthcoming: I’ve never entered into a consanguinamorous relationship, and most likely never will. But, it is still an aspect of who I am, and (hopefully you understand) that is not diminished by circumstance.
      The podcasts are also lovely to hear, even with the warbly voice effect; in some ways, that really drives the point home too, because you can’t be too safe about this sort of thing especially in this information age especially when there’s people who have an axe to grind.
      Again thank you! just because!
      And the articles you write are the ones that need to be written – not just because the information needs to get out there, but because a minority that never finds a voice, never finds a listener. Outsiders looking-in have some interesting ideas, as well as perhaps even best intentions, but it’s just not the same. It’s always like that.
      Your hypothesis about double-bonding was intriguing, because it is something that I have been thinking as well (though not nearly as formulated as yours is!) and when I asked [someone trustworthy] if they thought a consanguinamorous couple might have a substantially more intense bond and why, they also came to the idea of a double-bonded relationship. It’s very encouraging consilience.
      It just seems like so much
      And the forum, Kindred Hearts, seems interesting too, though not yet sure what to make of it since some of the more recent posts mentioned closing or something? and that it still feels “out in the open” and the rules just… well but anyway! This has been a bit of a ramble! and hopefully you still check this email!
      Thank you very much for reading this or even skimming through it!
      If at all possible, it would be lovely to hear back from you whenever is timely for you.
      If it’s not possible, that too is understandable; life has a way of doing things, and sometimes it doesn’t all line up. Surely though, we will both do our parts to the utmost of our ability. It really can’t be otherwise.
      Again thank you so much for putting this all together!

Very much love
Be good, and stay safe out there

Thank you very much for this kind letter, I’m always glad to receive such communications from members of the public.

In terms of our movement, we’re really at the beginning stages. The main aim for now is education about the subject, which will in turn change attitudes, which will then lead to the legal changes we need. We can’t very well complain about discrimination if we aren’t prepared to do something about it and work to change it. That’s what this website, and those I link to in ‘useful links’ are all about.

I am glad that you and your trustworthy friend were able to understand the double-love concept. It’s not really a hypothesis any more, it’s a phenomenon that all such couples experience in both GSA and Non-GSA relationships.

As to Kindred Spirits, we have not closed down, we have simply moved. The old forum provider went down for a month leaving us with no forum… so we HAVE the new one HERE. Interestingly, the old one came back online only days after this one was created, so now we’re in the rather odd space of having TWO forums.

In any case, thanks again for your letter.

Take care,


An open letter to media bosses and journalists

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter for you today with regards to how the mainstream media, both on television and in newspapers, tabloids and blog articles, cover stories about incest. Allow me to introduce myself before I begin, I am Jane Doe, one of a small but growing number of bloggers who are trying to educate people on this subject by giving them the facts about incest between consenting adults, with the view to the laws against it being repealed at some future date.

As of late, I have seen a great number of articles about the subject of Genetic Sexual Attraction and incest that have been woefully lacking in many respects. To make matters even worse, many articles have even falsely conflated consensual adult incest with childhood sexual abuse and rape. Some have even gone so far as to invoke the truly grotesque examples of Josef Fritzl and Frederick West to demonstrate how incest is bad. Yet these monsters have nothing in common with the online community that I belong to and represent. Those two cases are as shocking and as horrifying to us as they are to anyone else.

Now, of course I understand that the subject matter is a difficult one for the media to cover. Incest is such a taboo that even a frank discussion about it is taboo, and yet the taboo sells newspapers for shock value alone. Your job, as journalists and as media bosses is to sell your product to the public. The temptation to sensationalize a story in pursuit of profit and higher ratings is a natural instinct

However, I must tell you that you are doing a disservice to the public, in that you are not adequately researching the subject and are very often holding up these couples as circus freaks to be mocked, ridiculed, even hunted down and thrown in jail. In some cases, journalists have suggested that rather than being imprisoned, that these couples should be put into counselling. Since I think it’s safe to say that none of these journalists are doctors or psychiatrists, it isn’t very smart that they’re offering such a wild diagnosis. One recent example of this behavior was the media frenzy surrounding Kim West and Ben Ford, a GSA mother/son couple, who had to flee their home as law enforcement was after them.

This said, there are many genuine journalists out there who would like to get our stories out to the public, and those ones get my respect and thanks. However, the rules that the media bosses give them with regards to interviews are making it impossible for them to do their job, namely get our stories. What you must understand is that most people are living in places where incest is illegal, and they could go to prison for revealing their identities. I understand that you often promise to keep us anonymous, and anonymous to the public at large we believe you. However, should the courts subpoena you, you would be lawfully obligated to hand over the personal information of everybody who participated to the authorities. us, true anonymity means that we remain anonymous even to journalists. You could even still do video media with such information, by asking us questions, we provide the answers, and then an actor can read our answers. Lets be honest here, you want our stories to sell media, we want to give you our stories to get the truth about these relationships out there… so let’s be realistic about it and offer us true anonymity, and you will be surprised at how many people will be willing to partake in such interviews.

In closing I will ask you to simply consider all I’ve said to you in this letter. I am asking that you stop conflating incest with child abuse and rapists, that you do some real research before writing articles that exhibit biases and personal prejudices rather than real information, that you stop sensationalizing and demonizing us, and that you offer real anonymity to those you wish to interview.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

Yours faithfully,

Jane Doe