Incestophobia from other sexual minorities

It came to my attention this evening that our friend Keith had a particularly ignorant anonymous comment sent to him which I thought I’d weigh in on, click the link to read what he had to say about it on his tumblr. It reads as follows:

“You people are hurting the LGBT community by trying to be part of it. LGBT people have been through enough without weirdos that are attracted to minors and weirdos that say its ok for a mother (the woman that gave birth to you!) to f— their sons or daughters. Please do the LGBT community a favor and stop mentioning us as if we are the same as you creeps.”

First of all, nobody in our fledgeling movement is advocating for adults to be allowed to have sexual contact with minors, we find that every bit as appalling as the next person. The reasons for this are obvious: sex with minors is wrong because it causes harm, often devastating harm that can take the victim a lifetime to overcome. What we ARE advocating for is for all consenting adults (by this I mean two or more persons over the legal age of consent), whatever their individual orientations should be allowed to have the relationships of their choosing without interference from the law or anyone else. What part of consenting adults do people not understand? It’s not rocket science.

Second point, nobody has said that consang is the same thing as gay, they are two distinctly different types of orientation. Homosexuality is a preference for a partner of the same sex, Consanguinamory is a preference for a partner within ones family unit. Consangs may be straight, bisexual or gay (just like regulars), and homosexuals may be regular, bisang or consang (just like heterosexuals). Clearly these are two very different communities and nobody is trying to pretend otherwise.

What we ARE doing is showing that there are some stark similarities to how gays have been persecuted (both historically and in modern times in some countries), and how consangs are persecuted now. The LGBT community knows it’s own history, the struggle they went through to be recognized and respected. We’re barely off the starting block and we need allies who understand what this type of persecution is like. For this reason we reach out to the LGBT community with an offer of friendship and solidarity. We may not be the same as you, but we sure as hell have to put up with the same type of ignorance and moronic comments from joe public. Incestophobia is every bit as wrong as homophobia.

We’re also not trying to be a part of the LGBT community, we’re simply trying to be allies, we have our own separate movement and our arguments stand on their own. That said, we would welcome allies, including LGBT allies. It may also be worth mentioning that since some Consangs are also LGBT, it makes little sense for the LGBT community to shun them and label them as ‘creeps’. This overlap is something that the Consang community and the LGBT community can work together on, so that the people that both orientations apply to can feel welcomed by both communities and get the support that they need. Right now these people are welcomed with open arms by us, but they’re shunned by the wider LGBT community… that’s something that needs addressing by the leaders of the LGBT community.

I actually find it quite saddening that a member of the LGBT community has felt the need to post something like this, complete with ad-hominem style attacks. I hope this person comes to better understand us and our community, and realizes that we’re not a threat to his or her community.

This brings me to my third point: supporting consang rights will NOT harm other minority groups. If we are to argue that all consenting adults should have the same rights, then we can’t turn our back on each other just because we find another group distasteful. You see, we don’t have to necessarily agree with each others personal choices in order to support peoples basic rights, we simply have to believe in the principal that all consenting adults should have the same rights. Equality cannot be called equality unless it applies to everyone. What’s right for one person may be quite wrong for somebody else, and that’s okay, we’re all unique individuals trying to find our way in the world. Stand apart and attack each other and we stand in the way of equality for everyone. However, if we stand together, united we are all stronger, and we can change the world for the better. We need to be building bridges together and working together for the greater good, not launching textual missiles at each other.

So today, in the face of this hateful and ignorant comment, I once more call for solidarity with other minority groups. Be our allies as we will be yours.