This is a difficult subject to talk about for many people, and yet it is one that needs to be covered because there is realistic possibility that ones children may express some interest in consanguinamory at some point, especially if one is consanguinamorous oneself. I say that because there is a small possibility that there may be a genetic component to our sexuality, I can’t say that there definitely is because I honestly do not know at this point, none of us do for sure until more research is done. There is also a chance that you’re a regular reading this article and have discovered consanguinamory amongst your children. Whatever your circumstances, this article is for you as a parent.
If your children are all above the age of consent, and you discover consanguinamory amongst them, then I would advise you to leave well alone. Obviously you can give advice such as cautioning them to be discreet, or about contraception if they are not ready for children because they are studying or anything of that nature. What you should never do is shun them or try to force them apart, it’s both cruel and unnecessary. Take a good look around my blog and see for yourself what consanguinamory is really all about so that you become familiar with the kind of challenges your children are likely to face as consanguinamorous people. If you’re consang yourself I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but it does need to be said.
If you have underage adolescents who are expressing some interest in consanguinamory, that’s where it gets a little different. Of course, as a parent it is important that you discourage any underage sex, the age of consent is there for very good reasons, it both protects youngsters from the predation of adults, and from making poor decisions in life that they may later regret. This age varies a little from country to country, but by and large it serves the purposes for what it is intended for. The level of contact that would be appropriate for regular couples of their age group should also be okay for consang youngsters. For instance, if you would not stop your 15 year old daughter from going on a date with a lad from school, then there is no reason to stop her from going on a date with her sixteen year old brother, provided of course that they are discreet. Actually in this scenario you as a parent have the distinct advantage compared with if she were a regular, you already know both parties in the relationship and you do not need to suss out a whole new person. Who is more likely to treat your daughter with respect, the lad at school, or the brother she grew up with?
At this point, as a parent, you need to be prepared for anything. This might turn out to be a short term interest and then they go back to being brother and sister, or it might end up being a lifelong partnership. Whether it is a phase or not is not something you will be able to tell from the outset, only time will give you that answer. It is important that whatever their decision, you support them and love them all the same. Whatever you do, don’t tell them that it’s sick or disgusting, or force them into therapy, or get the cops involved, if you do you will do untold damage to your family unit and to your children. If you’re regular, you might be a bit grossed our by it, but those are YOUR preferences, not your children’s. Treat this situation as you would had your children have been LGBT, give them the same love and acceptance. If you’re a consang parent, you’ll instinctively know all this already, and you’ll be well prepared to brief your kids in protecting themselves and you’ll naturally be on hand for advice.
Of course, there are some more things that need to be said, if one of the children is over the age of consent and one us underage, there should be no sex involved until the younger one is of age. If this has already occurred, you need to sit down and talk to them and ensure it won’t happen again until the younger is old enough. This of course, assumes that the age gap is very small, like a year or two. Obviously it is completely different if an 18 year old sleeps with a 17 year old than if that 18 year old was to force him or herself on a far younger sibling who may only be 11 or 12. One is underage sex between similarly aged peers, the other is child rape, there is a massive difference and it needs to be treated very differently. The former needs a good talking to about the age of consent and why it’s there, the latter needs police involvement.
It’s entirely possible that your consang children may express an interest in you. If they’re of age and you’re both available and interested then there is no good reason not to pursue a relationship. If you’re not available then explain that you’re unwilling to cheat on your current partner and that’s that. If you’re a regular then just let them know that you’re not into this kind of thing and let them down gently, as you would any other person who you aren’t interested in dating.
If your child is interested in you and they are underage, then obviously it would be wrong to pursue a relationship with them… so don’t do it. If you may be interested in the future then tell him or her to come back when he or she is of age… by then they may have lost interest if it was a phase, if not then the possibility is that it will crop up again and you’ll have to have a ready answer for them, yes or no.
The goal of parenting is to reach the stage where the now adult-child is ready and able to take the world on for themselves, to provide for themselves and become self-sufficient. If this target has been reached THAT would be the ideal time for a relationship to start, not before.
As a final note, I did write an article a while back especially for teenagers who suspect that they might be consanguinamorous. Please, let them read this.