If you’re reading this, you may have concerns that somebody in your family is consanguinamorous. I understand that this may be a difficult thing for you to get your head around and that it might make you feel uncomfortable. While it is not an easy thing to deal with, these issues are important to work through in order for there to be a happy and healthy environment for the whole family.
Firstly, are you absolutely sure about your suspicions? For example has that family member come out and said as much, or have you caught that person (or people) red-handed? If so I can imagine that you must be feeling pretty confused and wondering how and why this sort of thing can happen. You may wonder if there was anything that you or anyone else could have done to prevent it.
Just like any other type of relationship, consanguinamory happens when people have romantic feelings towards each other, and they choose to act upon those feelings. Except for them being related to each other they are like other couples in almost every way. Don’t panic, it will not lead to a disaster. If they are truly in love with each other, they are consenting adults, and the relationship is healthy, there is no real reason to try to force them apart. I realize that this must have come as a shock, but it is important not to overreact or do anything stupid like banish them from the family or call law enforcement.
If you know for sure that they are involved, talk to them and let them give you the information that you need. Don’t pressure them and give them the third degree, just have a conversation about it. You will all feel better with things out in the open. You might be pleasantly surprised at some of the answers you get.
If you simply suspect, but do not know for sure, my advice would be to leave well alone, in case you are wrong. That said, if that’s the case it will be less of a shock to you if it’s happening and you do find out for sure.
What if you’re the person that this family member is interested in? If he or she has come out and said so to you then it stands to reason that you’ve got a choice to make, it’s either a yes or a no. If you’re not interested then just say so, let them down gently as you would any other person, they’ll understand. If you’re curious and want more information about the subject before making up your mind then browse through the essays and take a look at the other websites I link to in the links section. It will give you a pretty good picture of what life is like from within these relationships.
If you are interested and you feel the same, then there is no reason why not to pursue the relationship as long as you protect yourselves from discovery by others, and as long as you aren’t cheating on anybody by doing so. The rewards are often worth the risks because it is a very special kind of love, a merger of family love and romantic love that is more deep and intense than any other I know of.
Whatever your situation, you know your family member well, and he or she is the same person that they were before you knew about their sexuality! Feelings like this are surprisingly common, and it is not perverted or dirty, it’s simply a type of relationship that differs a little from the established norm. As I’ve said in other places before, it shouldn’t be any different from finding out that a family member is gay. There are a lot of misperceptions about consanguinamory, and it’s understandable that you may have believed at least some of them.
My advice in general would be to treat your family member like you would treat anyone else, like a normal person, because he or she is normal. Whatever you do it is important not to freak out, because that doesn’t help either you or your family member.
Consanguinamory 