Living without shame

I am writing this article because it is a major issue for many consanguinamorous couples. Despite being deeply in love, and the relationship working well, many people feel that what they are doing is something to be ashamed of, almost as if it’s something dirty.

If you’re suffering with this issue, stop for one moment and ask yourself… why are you feeling this way? You both love each other, right? You’re both consenting adults, you fell in love, you’re a good person who is kind to others, you live a regular life, people depend on you just as you depend on them, so really you’re no different from anyone else.

You may feel that you’re doing wrong because ‘well everyone know’s that kind of thing is wrong’. Really? In the same way that everyone thought that the Earth was flat, and that natural disasters occurred because God is angry rather than because of geological upheaval along fault lines or changes in the climate. The masses have been wrong in the past, and I am telling you for sure, they are wrong now about us. Gandhi once said ‘Even if you are in a minority of one, the truth is still the truth’. In our case, the truth is that we’re consanguinamorous, and that their bigotry is caused by their misunderstanding of who we are and what we’re about. We do not hurt anyone, we aren’t predatory and we aren’t out to redefine the meaning or the function of the family. Our relationships are an add-on to the family relationships that already exist and continue to do within consanguinamory.

Most of us were born this way, with an inbuilt preference for consanguinamory. We do not share the inbuilt aversion towards the idea of choosing a mate within the family that most people feel. It doesn’t make us broken or defective, it simply makes us different, that’s all. Different does not mean bad, it means differing from what is ordinarily expected. It’s okay not to be the same as the crowd, human beings are not factory produced from moulds, human beings are sentient and intelligent beings created with, by and for the purposes of love. We are fulfilling our function by being consanguinamorous, in the same way that ‘normal’ people are fulfilling theirs with their exsanguineous relationships. We do not have to all be the same. Take the gay community for example, are they bad because they are different from the heterosexual majority? Of course not, they are fulfilling their function as we fulfill ours. Please, let go of the need to follow the crowd, you really don’t have to be a copy, and you’ll be more liberated and free than you’ve ever been. We were not all created the same, but we were all created in the image of God, who loves us unconditionally and wants us to be what we were made to be.

There is no good reason for you to be ashamed of what you are, what you were made to be. True love is never wrong, and if what you’re feeling is true love and the other person feels the same, then you have your other half, to quote Jesus ‘the two become one flesh’, and never was that truer for any other group than for us. We’re already one flesh being close kin, but consanguinamory brings us even closer.

I know how hard it is, but don’t let the bigots get you down. You are beautiful just as you are, you’re an expression of infinite love, and the master of your own destiny. You should never be ashamed of the love you feel, it’s natural, it’s beautiful, and it’s normal. You feel love both ways, as family and as a lover, nothing could compare. Say it with me, “I am consanguinamorous, and I am proud to be what I am, I let nobody tell me otherwise because I know the truth of what I am.” If you can say that and mean it, you will be free of the guilt and the shame that has plagued you. I wish you well on your journey, but this affirmation you can carry around in your mind, and say it to yourself daily, trust me it will help you no end.