It’s a fact of life that not everyone in life is going to approve of us or like us, and that is absolutely okay. What isn’t okay is when other people online make nasty comments about other people that they know nothing about and pass judgement on them. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of it lately around the internet in response to the Monica/Caleb story that’s gone viral over the last couple of days. While some of the comments have been variants on the mutant babies argument and the ‘ick’ factor, others have called into question their mental competence and some been downright spiteful and nasty. Of course a small handful of comments have been tolerant and that is encouraging that some people at least can see that hate is not the answer.
So, I’ve decided to write this article about how to deal with haters, because it’s pretty important that we deal with such malice in an appropriate manner.
The first option would be to just ignore it, pretend that those comments aren’t even there. Depending on your personality this can be easier said than done, I’m pretty cool tempered most of the time, but at times even I get riled up to the extent that I want to scream at the computer screen. Realize first off that your anger is perfectly healthy and justified when another person is attacking your identity and relationship choice, who wouldn’t feel angry when that happens? So don’t try to suppress how you feel or bottle it up, there are ways of coping with anger in a healthy way. If you do not wish to respond to the comment, you can take out your anger on a video game, or go for a run, or whatever else you do that helps you vent steam. This will allow you to work off your anger without taking it out on anyone else, or responding to an obviously provocative post that you want to rise above.
Your second option is to respond to the post in a measured way so as to debate the person. First you need to calm down if you’re feeling angry, and avoid making personal attacks on the other person, EVEN IF THEY HAVE MADE THEM ON YOU. This is so that any other people watching the debate will see that you are the rational one, not the hater. So whatever you do, don’t resort to insults and name calling, it’s important that we do not do these things no matter how obnoxious the other person is being. So while it is very tempting to call the other person a wanker, or to tell them to fuck off and grow up… don’t do it. What you should do is take their central argument and debunk it with common sense. There is not a single argument against the legalization of incest that stands up to scrutiny, and so you will be on pretty solid ground here. The most frequently used arguments by haters are ‘eww that’s gross’ and ‘you’ll end up with retarded babies’. For the counter arguments to their most frequent objections, please see these pages.
Of course, if the other person will not see reason and continues to spew hate despite your cool rational responses, it might be time to just leave the debate. There is absolutely no point in repeating yourself to somebody so deaf to the truth. So sometimes it pays to be the bigger person, after all, the hater cannot continue to make horrible posts if nobody is responding to them. Just by your comment being up there for others to read, it gets people thinking, and that’s the point really. People will compare the attitude of the hater to your calm rational posts, and thus the reader will be more likely to side with you. So even though you didn’t necessarily get the last word in, you’ve still won the debate.