Choosing whether to act or not

This is an important subject which I partially covered already, but it is something that each of us must make up our minds about if we haven’t done so already. Some people come to the community looking for the answer to this one. It sounds like a very simple question, and at the same time it is so complex and potentially life changing.

Many people who first develop feelings towards a relative understandably have a high level of inner conflict and confusion over their feelings. Because of societal brainwashing, it is only natural for people to question why they feel the way that they do, and whether or not there is anything actually wrong with feeling this way. If you’re at this early stage right now, then I can tell you from the outset that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for a relative. It may be unconventional, but it is not abnormal, it is not sick, and you do not need to seek help, there is nothing to feel ashamed of. So the very first thing I would call on you to do is to accept that you feel this way without judging yourself harshly, and preferably spend some time with the community to get to understand yourself a bit better, even if only by reading the blogs if you don’t fancy the idea of joining the forums. At least then you will have a pretty good idea of what these relationships are really like.

All of the above will help you on your journey of understanding, but there are some additional things you should consider:

  • Are your basic needs and wants in life the same or similar? If they are then that indicates a high degree of compatibility. Say if you both want to buy a house and concentrate on your careers then this is good. But if one of you wants that and the other would prefer to spend the money on lavish holidays abroad and expensive clothes, this may create conflict. Ultimately, are any differences in preferred lifestyle workable?
  • Do you want children? If so by what means?
  • Are you prepared for a life of secrecy and hiding the truth from the world. This is an unfortunate necessity for us in many countries due to oppressive legislation. Do you think you can both handle that?
  • Are either of you in an existing monogamous relationship right now? If so, then remember that adultery isn’t smart, and within the context of consanguinamory it could lead to criminal prosecution if the jilted spouse reports it.
  • Has your relative given any indication that they might be interested in a relationship with you? Do you know his or her attitude towards consanguinamory? If not you might want to bring it up in general terms to judge the reaction, like for instance mention a story in the news and see what he or she says about it.
  • You may at some point have to deal with haters if you aren’t able to conceal yourselves entirely, that applies even if you live in a country where it is not illegal.

Ultimately, only you can make the choice for yourself, but these are the things you might want to think about some before making that choice. It isn’t for everyone, but that’s your call.