Is it my orientation or not?

After participation in some threads at Kindred Spirits on this issue, I thought it important to clarify some important points. Not everyone who has a consang relationship is exlusively consanguinamorous, and not everyone who has regular relationships is exclusively regular. The world is not a binary place, rather orientation exists on a scale. Much like how there are bisexuals who are not exclusively straight or gay, there are some people in the world who are halfway between regular and consang.

As I wrote in the forum topic, in order for a person to be considered fully consang, the following criteria should be met:

  1. The person has an absent or very weak Westermarck Effect
  2. Related people appear to be more attractive than unrelated people
  3. Relationships with unrelated people feel empty and hollow, like something is missing

There are many people in the world who have a weak or absent Westermarck, but are equally attracted to non-relatives and are able to feel satisfied in a relationship with them. These people are PARTIALLY consang, not exclusively.

So, if you’re wondering whereabout on the scale you are, here is my scale:

Fully Consang – You’ve always known you lack Westermarck Effect, because you’ve never shared other peoples disgust whenever incest was mentioned. You may not have understood the significance of this at first, but you did the moment you fell in love with a relative because it all fell into place for you. You’ve tried regular relationships and always felt something wasn’t quite right, you sometimes told yourself ‘there must be more to love than this’ because it left you feeling empty inside, and with no obvious reason. The moment your relative became more than just family, you understood instinctively that this was RIGHT, even though society told you otherwise, the empty feeling was gone and for the first time you felt truly whole. Now you’ve experienced consanguinamory, you know you can never go back to regular relationships because they just feel so painfully awkward, not to mention hollow! You’re exclusively attracted to family members.

Consang-Flexible – You never had much of a Westermark Effect if any at all, and other peoples disgust may have seemed to you a bit over the top. When you fell in love with a relative you too found everything falling into place. You’ve tried regular relationships, and although they don’t feel as natural to you as consang ones, you cannot rule out finding the right regular because you do feel some attraction towards some of them. Thing is, they’d have to be something pretty damn special, at the very least somebody you could connect to on a family-like level. Your primary preference though would be to date within your family.

Bisang – You too have a very weak Westermarck Effect, so you too find the disgust reaction of others over the top. You’ve fallen in love with both relatives and non-relatives, and you have no relationship preference either way. You easily see the unique characteristics of both kinds of relationship and you’re able to switch between dating a relative and dating an unrelated person pretty easily.

Regular-Flexible – Your Westermarck Effect is stronger, although not strong enough to rule out relatives completely. You usually date outside your family and you’re primarily attracted to other regulars. You probably find that you’re not attracted to most of your family, although you would under the right circumstances be willing to make exceptions to this rule, perhaps just for one particular relative whose values and personality best compliment your own. Although you’re not completely disgusted by incest, you might find the concept a little awkward, hence you’d really prefer to date somebody who isn’t related.

Regular – You have a strong Westermarck Effect, and the very thought of dating a relative is a real turn off, the concept itself feels very awkward to you, disgusting even. No way in hell could you imagine dating a family member, and even thinking about others doing it makes you feel so uncomfortable that you’d prefer not to even hear about it. You’re exclusively attracted towards people who are unrelated.

Now you’ve seen my scale, where do you lie on it? I once thought I was consang-flexible, but it turns out that I’m 100% consang. To be honest, the thought of another regular relationship is highly unappealing to me, which is why I don’t engage in them any more. Whichever point you lie on the scale, it’s okay… every bit as okay as being anywhere on the straight-bisexual-gay scale.


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