Everyone alive has some form of self-doubt about some aspect of their lives, this is normal and natural. In some people it might be that they fear that they are inadequate in their work life, in others they might feel that they suck at cooking, and yet others berate themselves over their body image. All of these things work to reduce a persons self esteem. But what about groups of people who are attacked en-mass from the outside for what is a fundamental part of their identity as a person? People like us.
It is easy for us to slip into feeling ashamed of what we are, even to the point of wondering if society is right for condemning us each time the pitchforks come out on the Internet. The thing is, we cannot help who we fall in love with, and so we wonder if we are somehow broken to be breaking a rule that is often enshrined in law. Who we are on the most basic and fundamental level is condemned, labelled as a pervert and a freak. Sometimes this is internalized, and is then is felt as a deep wound, one that some people don’t ever completely heal from.
Yet we can each overcome this internalization of hate, simply by rejecting the labels that are spewed forth from the ignorance of society. Just by knowing that we are NOT freaks and perverts, we can begin to feel some very different emotions. I do not mean just intellectually knowing that we are not these things, but knowing it intuitively, through and through with absolutely no doubt. The different emotions I mention are many, one of the first may in fact be ANGER, namely at the fact that we are so mislabelled and oppressed. I feel this myself at times when I read a particularly bigoted article choc full of misinformation and what to me is now painfully obvious bullshit.
Another emotion is a tremendous sense of liberation and freedom, of knowing completely and utterly that it’s OKAY to be what you are. You realize that you do not have to follow the masses on the well beaten path, choosing a side road is just as valid even if unpopular. It’s almost as if society is saying ‘follow that path and you’ll turn into a monster’, you choose to ignore it and carry on anyway, and when you reach the end of the path you look at yourself in the mirror and you’re the same person you always were except maybe happier! There really was nothing to fear.
Who you are as a person does not change just because your sexual choices are different. You do not turn into that monster for choosing to follow your heart. In our double love we find something both beautiful and powerful, we find a connection so deep it defies words, and a love so tremendously strong it can scarcely be expressed fully. How can something so unique, so beautiful, so perfect be in any way wrong? It isn’t because it can’t be. To date, no valid argument has been put forth by the naysayers as to why they should be allowed to persecute us for our love.
Once you intuitively know all of this, you can begin to take pride in who and what you are. You will be able to say to yourself ‘I’m consanguinamorous and proud, and I wouldn’t change it for the world’… not only will you be able to say it, but say it and MEAN IT. Such a level of personal empowerment will enable you to feel good about yourself and your relationship. You will see the bigoted articles and not only will you not question yourself any more, you’ll be able to say ‘what a misinformed idiot, what does s/he know?’ You’ll be able to laugh at them or get angry at them, but you’ll never question yourself again.
This is one of the main messages of this blog, that it is OKAY if you’re this way inclined, in fact it’s more than okay it’s really beautiful and you should celebrate your love. Society might not be ready for you just yet, but that should never stop you from enjoying your relationship and shared double love. Empowerment is a wonderful thing, so embrace what you are and have no fear of it.